Major: EnvSci / Class of 2025

Author: jsabia (Page 8 of 8)

Barclay Paragraph Practice

[C] Sea turtles are the best animals to ever exist.  [I] Many sources help emphasize how awesome sea turtles are.  Turtle expert Jenna Sabia states that [Q] “sea turtles are some of the most magnificent creatures on Earth and can live to nearly 80 years old” (23).  [E]  In other words, sea turtles are likely to have almost the same life span as a human, and they are completely unbothered.  [T] Their beauty doesn’t just stop with their impressive life span; they also have a very interesting process for hatching their offspring.  As Marine Biologist Clayton Nyiri explains [Q2] “sea turtles lay their eggs on the beach at night, and once they hatch, the babies will follow the light of the moon back to the ocean” (64).  [Ce]  Between their outstanding lifespan and wondrous hatching ritual, it is clear that sea turtles are some of the most fascinating creatures to ever live.

Connecting the Parts

The use of technology and social media as a primary way of communication has become increasingly popular as time progresses, to such an extent that it is altering the way in which people interact with one another in person.  While many have come to accept this new version of communicating as normal, others believe that “the time we invest in superficial relationships comes at the expense of more profound ones” (Konnikova 3).  I will say, there is definitely a difference in the ways that people interact with one another on social media rather than real life.  In many cases, people are less likely to say what they actually mean when they are talking face to face, which could lead to a lack of meaning or depth in that interaction. While I can understand and appreciate the concept of social media relationships coming at the expense of in person interactions, I don’t agree with the idea that they are less profound.  Many people meet their best friends, significant others, or even long distance family members on social media, and if they are lucky, they end up linking up with these people in person later in life.  This opportunity for connection can be seen in the case of Phelps-Roper, a very sheltered and close minded young woman who changed her hateful ways due to the people she meets on social media.  She starts off her story by being part of the hate group that is the Westboro Baptist Church. Becoming exposed to social media shows her that there are many different perspectives on important issues such as LGBTQ rights. In engaging with people on social media, she meets a man by the name of C.G. who becomes her first introduction to “people who [are] decent but not religious” (Chen 13).  With each interaction they had, she became more and more detached from the ideals of Westboro, and started to see the world through a different lens.  This extra insight to the world around her allowed Phelps-Roper to reevaluate what she believes in, and ultimately change her entire life due to these seemingly minor interactions.  On the other hand, Konnikova argues that “until social media can replicate [physical] touch, it can’t fully replicate social bonding” (Konnikova 4), but that cannot be further from the truth.  I see social media as a means for people to connect and meet one another, rather than the thing that keeps people separated from each other.  The only instance where I believe Konnikova will be correct is when someone becomes solely dependent on social media as their only way of interaction and communication.  When people find that balance between communicating with people over text versus actually talking to people, even if it is only on FaceTime, there won’t be a huge divide as Konnikova describes.  Moderation and balance is a necessity within one’s social life, and once that is found, there will be no catastrophic differences between the way Gen Z interacts with people on and off the internet.

I do, however, agree with Konnikova when she talks about the possibility of “too much virtual interaction may subvert [the] education [of social awareness]” (Konnikova 5).  It will become increasingly more difficult for people to meet one another in person if they only know how to communicate over the internet.  While I believe that social media can create some of the most important relationships in a person’s life, I do understand the necessity and value of social awareness in real life.  People need to know how to be conscious of others’ tone, body language, eye contact, and so much more when communicating in person, all of which are lost when using social media.  One of the most dangerous things about social media is the ability for anyone to say anything they want without consequence, and many of these things they would never say in person.  By hiding behind a keyboard, they are able to ignore the feelings of others, as they are simply reading their words on a screen.  In the instance of Phelps-Roper, people started to realize that “relating to hateful people on a human level was the best way to deal with them”, and they were finally able to make her, as well as other individuals, see things from another perspective (Chen 9).  In other words, reactive responses to hateful people don’t lead to much good. These sorts of communication tactics have previously been learned from in person interactions and currently do not have any other way of being taught, but this could very likely change as social media progresses through time.  When people take time to plan out their ideas before they blast them onto the internet, there is a great possibility that a helpful, insightful conversation will come out of it.  The ability to have conversations online allows people to think about what they want to say before they say it, while simultaneously being able to listen to the opinions of others and learn from them.

b) I notice that I rely largely on pointing words as well as repeating my key points very often throughout my writing. I repeat words like “social media” and “communication” on more than one occasion throughout these two paragraphs, as they are the main focus of my paper.  I also tend to use words such as “while” more than a few times in order to transition from one argument to its counter argument. 

c) The two points in these paragraphs that I believe needed to be changed are in bold.  I added the first idea in bold to explain what I meant when I said “this”.  By providing that extra level of context, I was able to make my sentence easier to understand and it created a better flow.  The second bolded sentence I added was to create a smoother transition between two thoughts.  In doing so, I was able to make my sentences and ideas flow more seamlessly.

DFW Reading Response

  • In 300 words or less, summarize the speech and show (with framed quotes and paraphrases from the text) what you believe to be the author’s three main points/arguments. Support with textual evidence and include your own initial response to the material.
  • Do you agree with DFW’s main arguments? Why or why not?
  • Is DFW talking about, or referring to empathy (though he never uses the word)? Or is he hinting at something else?
  • Find one DFW quote that evoked a strong response. Paste the direct quote from his piece, then write a few sentences in which you challenge or support his statement.
  1. In his speech “This is Water”, David Foster Wallace focuses on how “the most obvious, important realities are often the ones that are hardest to see and talk about” (2).  He connects this idea to a fish not knowing what water is, as they simply dismiss its existence as it is something they experience so often.  He presents the idea of how “learning to think really means learning how to exercise some control over how and what you think” (4).  Wallace tells the crowd of students that they have the ability to choose how they think about certain situations and what perspective they use in everyday life.  He uses the example of getting mad at people when they cut you off in traffic, while in reality they could be in a hurry for an emergency reason.  By exercising the ideas he proposes, it allows people to “choose how [they] construct meaning from experience” (4).  By being able to choose the way they think about certain situations, it allows people to decide what really matters and deserves their attention.  While simultaneously showing them what doesn’t matter.
  2. I believe that DFW’s main arguments make sense, and I am able to see quite a bit of truth behind them.  DFW talks a lot about perspective and how if people make the conscious decision to be a kinder person, then they will ultimately be able to find more meaning in their everyday lives.  I agree with the idea that it is very difficult to make the decision to try and find the silver lining in everyday interactions, but that it is definitely worth it in the end.
  3. I can see how someone could believe that DFW is talking about empathy in his speech, but I believe that his speech is more about perspective.  Empathy, in my eyes, is more about feeling how others do and trying to put yourself in their shoes.  It sounds to me more like he is referring to aspects of sympathy, such as being mindful of what others could be going through, thus making people behave in a more positive and forgiving manner towards others.
  4. “There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship” (7).  Being an atheist, myself, I really don’t agree with what DFW is trying to say here.  He goes on to describe how everyone worships something different, but I believe that he is simply describing how everyone values something different.  Having things that one values is never necessarily the single defining factor that one worships.  Everyone gets to choose the things they value in life, even if they choose not to worship or praise anything.

Paper One Self-Reflection

  1. What was your final thesis statement? Paste, then analyze its strengths & weaknesses
    1. “Although social media has a reputation for lessening the meaning of in person relationships, it creates connections that are so important they will change one’s life” was my final thesis statement.  I actually felt very confident in my thesis statement and really liked the way I set it up.  I believe that it was straight to the point and very clearly set up my arguments that come later in the paper.  As far as weaknesses go, I would say that I didn’t really feel as though it said enough about what I was going to write about.  If I were to include everything that I was going to say, the thesis would be far too long, so I think it was the best it could be at this point in my writing.
  2. Describe what you learned or were reminded of about your own writing process, from completing Paper #1. 
    1. I was reminded of the fact that I have to simply sit down and write the essay without thinking about any of the fundamentals first.  I have to get all of my thoughts out on the paper before I can go back and revise or smooth out the edges.  I tried to do this essay in more of a thought out fashion and I felt like this led to me losing my flow within my sentences.
  3. Which aspect of revision did you focus on most during your revisions? What changes or adjustments made your essay stronger? Be specific. 
    1. I focused on trying to make some of my sentences less wordy and confusing.  There were quite a few sentences in my rough draft that were so long winded that they didn’t make sense.  This also caused them to make it so that my writing started to drift from my argument at certain points.  Being able to condense those sentences and refocus them, allowed me to strengthen my points and make my thoughts more coherent and specific.
  4. How might you approach Paper #2 differently, from pre-reading and annotating, all the way through completion of your final draft? 
    1. For Paper #2, I am going to read the readings more than once.  I am going to read them the first time I have not read the prompt, and then read them again after I know what the prompt is.  I will annotate both times so I have my initial reactions to the piece of writing, and the focused thought about what I want to write about later.  When I sit down to actually write the paper, I am not going to overthink it, I am simply going to write all of my thoughts out first before I go back and revise it later, as an attempt to keep the flow of my writing consistent.

Bloom Response

  1. In 400 words or less, summarize the piece AND show (with framed quotes and paraphrases from the text) what you believe to be the author’s three main points/arguments. Support with textual evidence and include your own initial response to the material.
  2. Do you agree with Bloom’s main arguments? Why or why not? 
  3. In what ways does Bloom challenge your initial understanding or perception regarding empathy?
  4. Find one claim Bloom makes that evoked a strong response. Paste the direct quote from his piece, then write a few sentences in which you challenge OR support his claim in your own words.
  1.  “Is Empathy Overrated” by Paul Bloom focuses on how empathy “can be narrow, biased, and surprisingly insensitive” (1).  Bloom compares empathy to a “spotlight with a narrow focus” (1) in the sense that empathy has a tendency to focus on one very small group of people when there are others that are more deserving.  Empathy is biased to those that we can relate to.  When there are people going through something terrible, but we have no experience with what they’re going through, it becomes harder for us to put ourselves in their shoes.  Empathy is insensitive due to the fact that “more schoolchildren were murdered in one American city – Chicago – than were murdered in Newtown, and yet I’ve never thought about those Chicago children” (2).  Bloom goes on to explain how humans value the lives of individuals, so when certain events happen steadily all the time, such as Chiago murders, people tend to care less.  Empathy can be a wonderful, positive thing that can help others relate to one another and make people feel better or more validated.  However, empathy is also shown to have many flaws and serious downfalls such as those highlighted in this article.
  2. I do not agree with Bloom’s main arguments in this article.  While I can understand his reasoning behind why empathy isn’t always a good thing, at the end of the day I believe that empathy is a necessity to human interactions and meaningful relationships.  Empathy allows people to connect with one another on a deeper level and have more impactful conversations and connections.  Without being able to understand what others are going through and being able to feel how they’re feeling, one may never experience the bond of friendship as deep as those who can empathize.
  3. I have never bothered to think about the possible negative aspects of empathy.  Bloom was able to present many different arguments that created endless questions in my head about whether or not I actually believe that empathy is as wonderful as I once thought.  I have always been an extremely empathetic person when it comes to the people close to me and I believed that that was a good thing, until Bloom made the argument that by doing that I am being narrow minded or biased.  There are always positives and negatives to any sort of action, but the negatives of something as caring as empathy are never really talked about.
  4. “Actually, in the year of the Sandy Hook killings, more schoolchildren were murdered in one American city – Chicago – than were murdered in Newtown, and yet I’ve never thought about those murdered Chicago children before looking up that figure” (2).  Being from Connecticut, this quote really stood out to me, as I remember exactly when this shooting took place and just how much it shook everybody in the state.  I agree with Bloom in this instance, due to the fact that I was also unaware of the amount of people murdered in Chicago during that same year.  It made me feel guilty to realize that I was so deeply bothered by the Sandy Hook shooting when it happened, but also completely oblivious to the fact that countless innocent people were being brutally murdered each day in Chicago.  This proves Bloom’s point of empathy being biased, as I was more empathetic towards the people in Newtown, simply due to the fact that I know the area, and I was in school at the time.

Naysayer Response

The use of technology and social media as a primary way of communication has become increasingly more popular as time progresses, to such an extent that it is altering the way in which people interact with one another in person.  While many have come to accept this new version of communicating as normal, others believe that “the time we invest in superficial relationships comes at the expense of more profound ones” (Konnikova 3).  While I can understand and appreciate the concept of social media relationships coming at the expense of in person interactions, I don’t agree with the idea that they are less profound.  Of course, many people will disagree on the grounds that someone being attached to their phone could never be beneficial for their social life.  Though they fail to recognize how countless amounts of people meet their best friends, significant others, or even long distance family members on social media, and if they are lucky, they end up linking up with these people in person later in life.

Peer Review Experience

I have always liked doing peer revisions, as I thoroughly enjoy being able to pick apart a piece of writing and try to enhance it in any way I can.  I received some pretty good feedback from my partner.  He largely focused on word choice and the flow of my writing, which I really enjoyed because I also felt like it was choppy while I was writing it, I just couldn’t find the words that I wanted.  By having another set of eyes on my work, it was nice to be able to see what words and ideas he could add.  I really enjoyed the relaxed vibe of this partnership, I didn’t feel like I was under any sort of stress for my essay to perform in any certain manner, which made it easier to make adjustments to my writing.

The only somewhat unfortunate thing about this peer review experience is that he did not have a full essay, as he wasn’t feeling well, so I feel like I didn’t get to help her as much as I could have.  I feel like I got more out of this than he did, and I kind of feel bad for that.  I noticed that I really liked her writing style and her word choice. He wrote with a lot of passion within the words he wrote, which brought a lot to her piece.  Overall, my first college-level peer review was a pretty enjoyable experience and it makes me excited to see what the other ones will be like with the other points of view in class.

Focused Summary

In her essay The Limits of Friendship, Konnikova asserts that the connections people are having on social media are much less impactful than those made in real life.  By spending more time interacting with people on social media, it is believed that the relationships people create in person are being negatively affected.  She suggests that people have a limited capacity for interacting with others, meaning the more time they spend with those on the internet, the less likely they are to continue finding impactful connections offline.

Konnikova Revision

Original Question: “In a following paragraph, make a case for how social media connections might negatively impact your acclimation. Be specific, take note of which argument feels most authentic to you.”

Before

On the other hand, social media has made adjusting to UNE significantly more difficult.  By having access to the social media accounts of my hometown friends and family, it creates an increasing reminder of what I left behind as well as a constant feeling of homesickness. Social media also typically only shows the positive aspects of one’s life, making the feelings of doubt or dreariness feel invalidated and wrong.  Since coming to UNE, I have noticed so many people beginning to make friends and post pictures with them on social media where they look like they are having the time of their lives.  This also creates a serious issue for those who are less social with others, as it makes them feel isolated and excluded in a place where they are simply trying to feel like they belong.  Social media creates a false narrative for so many people and not only invalidates the feelings they may be experiencing, but also allows them to feel like they know someone without ever having to open their mouth, which is equally as dangerous.

After

Although I can see the benefits that social media can have on adjusting to college life, I believe that it has made adjusting to UNE significantly more difficult.  The constant access to  my hometown friends and family accounts acts as an inescapable reminder of what I left behind while adding an increase in the feeling of homesickness.  Social media also has a tendency to only display the positive aspects of one’s life, thus invalidating the feelings of doubt or dreariness that may be felt by college freshmen during their first semester.  Since arriving at UNE, I have witnessed so many people beginning to make friends and post pictures with each other on social media, seeming like they are having the time of their lives.  This creates an issue for students who are less social, as they could feel isolated or excluded in a place where they are simply trying to feel like they belong.  Social media creates a false narrative of one’s life while not only invalidating the feelings of the person viewing the post, but also allowing them to feel as though they know someone without ever having to speak, which is equally as isolating.

Write 1-2 paragraphs detailing the specific improvements you made and why you made them. Did they help? How did your adjustments impact paragraph length? Clarity?

The first change I made to my paragraph was the first sentence.  I used a template from They Say I Say to try and create a better flow to the beginning of my response because I felt that it sounded choppy.  I changed most of my word choice throughout the entire paragraph, but one part in particular was how I changed the sentence “Social media also typically only shows the positive aspects of one’s life, making the feelings of doubt or dreariness feel invalidated and wrong” to “Social media also has a tendency to only display the positive aspects of one’s life, thus invalidating the feelings of doubt or dreariness that may be felt by college freshmen during their first semester”.  While the changes I made increased the length of my sentence, it made what I was trying to say more specific and clearer to understand.  I believe that the changes I made did improve my overall paragraph.  The changes kept my response roughly the same length while still adding so much specificity and context to my argument.

Chen Reading Response

  1.   Megan Phelps-Roper was once the center of the social media attention for the Westboro Baptist Church and essentially became their poster child.  She was always front and center for the protests, and always the most outspoken about her hatred for certain types of people.  She believed “war, natural disaster, mass shootings–were warnings from God” (Chen 2).  Having been conditioned by her family, and the church, from a very young age, she never bothered to question their beliefs.  She continued to blindly follow these morals until she started to be exposed to other people on social media.  The people she met and interacted with were “decent but not religious” (Chen 13).  This started to show Phelps-Roper that not everything she was told by the church and her family was true.  When she continued to interact with these people, she began to grow relationships, and realized that she no longer feels that her opinions align with those of Westboro Baptist Church.  When she saw a photo of a malnourished child from the famine in East Africa, she was moved to tears while her mother rejoiced.  It was “the contradiction of her mother’s glee and her own sadness that made her wonder if something was wrong with the church” (Chen 13).
  2.   Social media greatly influenced the impact that Phelps-Roper had when it came to spreading the message of Westboro Baptist Church.  This is not to say that she wasn’t being heard before, as they would do interviews and newspaper articles.  However, social media provides “proof that people are seeing it and reacting to it” (Chen 3).  By being able to see the amount of people engaging with her posts, it not only encouraged her to continue making them, but it allowed people to interact with her in real time.  She was also able to say anything she wanted on social media “without the filter of a journalist” (Chen 3).  On the other hand, social media also brought her out of her bubble created by the Westboro Baptist Church.  Once she began to see the good in people that she was supposed to hate, she started to question her beliefs.  The more she interacted with people, the more she was “beginning to see them as human” (Chen 3).  The exposure that was brought to her by social media was the largest and most impactful stepping stone in her transition away from the church.
  3.   Phelps-Roper was very gifted at arguing with people, especially when she was being met with hostility.  It was when she started to have less hostile interactions with people online that she started to see a change within herself.  When Abitbol, the head of the website Net Hate, found that  “relating to hateful people on a human level was the best way to deal with them” (Chen 9).  It was connections and friendships like these that made Phelps-Roper realize that just because someone is different from her, doesn’t make them an evil person.  Interactions where people have a difference of opinion, but aren’t met with hostility, are so crucial in taking a meaningless argument and changing it into a helpful discussion.  By engaging with people in a calm and collected manner, one is able to actually take some knowledge with them once the argument is over.  When people get all worked up while engaging in a topic of conflict, it benefits nobody, as all it does is create a further divide with no understanding of one another.  When Phelps-Roper decided to leave the church, she was surprised to find that people on social media were actually very accepting and forgiving of her after all that she had said.  The reason she was able to redeem herself in the end, was due to her tone change near the later part of her time in the Westboro Baptist Church.  People are quicker to forgive others if they believe that they are decent people who deserve a second chance.
  4.   If I were to meet Phelps-Roper today, I would ask her all about how she found the courage to break free from the mold that was placed on her since she was a child.  Changing one’s entire way of thinking, leaving the only place they have ever lived, being disowned by those whom they had called their family is no easy feat.  Change can be so unbelievably scary that it ultimately deters people from even trying, but it’s the people that take the leap (even when they know that they’ll lose everything they know) that are truly courageous.
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